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The Lee Oswald Paradox: a Hero or a Pathetic Fool?

In Libra, we are given lots of information about young Lee in his journey to become the notorious Lee Havey Oswald, and in the mix of details and self-accounts, we can paint two contradicting pictures of him simultaneously. On the one hand, he is a resilient and determined aspiring revolutionary who rises from difficulty to answer his true calling as a historic figure. On the other hand, he is a foolish kid pursuing an idealized picture of historic fame . No matter how paradoxical, these two faces are inseparably embedded in Lee’s core identity, demanding a deeper review of how this contradiction came to be.  Let’s start with his heroic side. What impressed me the most about Lee was how he raised himself up from the challenges of his upbringing. We learn that, as a teen, he struggled to fit in with his peers and felt displaced wherever his family moved to; he lacked a fatherly figure and was generally disconnected from his mother and siblings. But rather than letting all this hardship
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Rufus and Thor

Rufus and Thor are both characters who, despite their initial interest in improving the situation of the colored members of their society, end up betraying this mission and submitting to the white supremacist narrative of their time.  In the beginning, they are inspired by a black figure–Dana and Berbelang–to become attracted to the cause of empowering colored people. This partnership between a white and a black character is unusual for their time and is a big personal sacrifice for both individuals.  It’s important to note the challenge of Dana and Berbelang’s position here: these two characters are both outliers in their colored community (the enslaved people at the Weylin plantation and the Mutafikah) because they believe that a sympathetic white person can be instrumental to promoting the best interests of their community. Despite the warnings of other people in their community, Dana and Berbelang develop a relationship with Rufus and Thor and put their trust in them, even if it en
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Parallelism between Jes Grew and the LGBTQ community

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The dynamic between the Jes Grew community and the Wallflower order in Mumbo Jumbo offers a narrative through which we can understand contemporary cultural issues. The battle for power between marginalized groups and the traditionalist authority is echoed across various social issues, among them the fight for LGBT rights. In many ways, the LGBTQ community and history share deep similarities with Jes Grew. Like Jes Grew, the legacy of LGBTQ people traces all the way back to ancient history, in various parts of the globe. In ancient Mesopotamia, same-sex relationships were very common, so much so that they were considered equal to any other relationships. Similarly, in ancient Greece and Egypt, there was little to no stigma around same-sex couples, except in specific cases in which the social status of the lovers differed or a man was deemed to "play the part of the woman" during sex. Back then, queer relationships were so normalized in mainstream society that no words meaning
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Why are women in Ragtime attracted by girls?

Ragtime  features women who find themselves strongly drawn to other, often younger, female characters–Mother to Sarah, Evelyn to the Little Girl, and Emma Goldman to Evelyn. This drives them to help these girls to the best of their capacity, which comes in various forms: Mother taking in Sarah and her son, Evelyn mothering the Little Girl, Emma taking off Evelyn’s corset, and opening her eyes to freedom. The level of love and care that these women express exceeds reactions to simple pity, especially when considering the intensity of emotions and the personal sacrifices that encompass their actions.  This got me interested in answering the why: what would have led these women to develop such a strong bond with the girls, who were complete strangers to them until they first met? Perhaps it is companionship. In all three cases, the women are revealed to share similarities with the girl that they are attracted to. For instance, Evelyn and the Little Girl are both isolated and lonely. Evely
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I am totally lost.

[I didn't write in response to a specific prompt]  My parents have always wanted me to have a smooth life. They want me to have a direction, to go the safe path–of attending a good university, then advancing to some high-paying career where I would be respected and would earn myself enough financial freedom to enjoy my life. At least that’s what I’m speculating from all the times that they–especially my dad–have preached the importance of my university’s name value and finding a major that will give “stability” in my life. Well, my parents in general aren’t very pushy in terms of academics, but when I bring up the subject of college admissions, discussing how getting into a top college isn’t as important as it used to be, or that I’m interested in applying to a liberal arts college to study sociology and environmental studies, they catch on quick with their own input, basically doing everything they can to stir me clear toward what they think is the safe path.  Honestly, maybe they
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College admissions....ughhh

What could you live without?  I hate the words “interesting”, “passionate”, and “intrigued”. I’ve used them so much in my college essays that they all feel so outdated, debased, almost fake.  I think I’m going into a curiosity crisis–I don’t feel interested in things. If you define interest as just the small spark of attraction you feel toward something, then I guess I do have some interest. But the magnitude and the duration of my curiosity have weirdly dropped. Though I've retained my enjoyment during classes, it’s been months since I have felt fully immersed in learning or chasing down a series of questions outside of school. However, this is hardly surprising. Since August of 2023, I have been primarily working on my college essays outside of school and classes. I put off personal projects or self-studying because I almost felt “guilty” divesting time away from working toward a college admission decision that could significantly impact the next four years of my life. Even whe
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Why are you so short?

[I didn't write in response to a specific prompt] (Content warning: this blog is about an eating disorder. If you're not ready for something emotionally intense, don't read.)  “Why are you so short?" My extended family would probe. I hate that question. “What happened?”. My parents are on the shorter side, but they are both taller than me–and so are everyone else in our family, including my younger cousins. Everyone knew something must have happened. But no one, except me and my parents, knows what exactly happened in those haunting 10-12 months that (probably) led to my unusually short height. Even now, years after the “incident”, we avoid talking about it like the plague. It was mid-6th grade. I would call myself a little chubby but not in any way that would concern my health and make any weight-loss efforts necessary. But to that naive kid whose friends’ words probably had as much impact as those of a doctor, the comment “Why are you so fat?” had the weight of a dea
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